


I’ll Tell Only the Truth

by sophiahelix



Series: when it feels right [4]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Kink Negotiation, Lingerie, M/M, Panty Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 00:40:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20844701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophiahelix/pseuds/sophiahelix
Summary: What are we, Yuzu texted him three months ago, and Javi answeredice skatersbefore following up withseriously, you tell me, I want whatever you can give. Yuzu’s not used to that, thinking of himself as the giver, but he’s used to setting terms.Novios,he texted back, after a long search online, trying to find exactly the right words.Si tu quieres.Sí, Javi replied.Te quiero.(series complete)





	I’ll Tell Only the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Well, it’s been three long months of working on this story daily, bit by bit, but it’s finally come together in a way I’m happy with and I’m thrilled finally to be posting it and finishing the series. Thanks so much to someitems for cheerleading, and to Dianna and shdwsilk for the insightful beta.
> 
> Lingerie inspirations:
> 
> Garter belt and chain (swipe through) https://www.edgeobeyond.com/products/naomi-suspender
> 
> Choker https://karolinalaskowska.com/products/anita-suspender-clip-choker

“Come see me in Spain,” Javi whispered backstage last month. He ran his fingers down the sheer, crystal-studded fabric of Yuzu’s sleeve, and Yuzu shivered at his breath on the back of his neck. “When the show is over,” Javi said, and Yuzu nodded before moving away, gathering himself again.

They didn’t see much of each other on the tour, and when they were together it wasn't like those stolen moments last summer, throbbing with raw, new audacity. It’s been a year of late night whispers on the phone and words spoken aloud on Javi’s brief visits to Toronto, and what’s between them has taken shape around everything they’ve learned, hemmed with awareness of all they still don’t know.

In Japan, things were simple. Eat, rest, skate. It's hard for Yuzu to think of anything else during shows, and Javi was a little apart too, directing his own group this year. They smiled at each other across the ice and took time where they could, quick mornings or drowsy evenings. Yuzu saved his performances for the arena, and Javi seemed to want comfort more than anything, a brief, companionable connection. Not strangers, but not lovers either, not the way they've been growing into.

Now Yuzu’s here, waiting for his suitcase to appear on the carousel of a strange airport. His flight was early and Javi’s late. It feels like he’s been alone for an eternity, suspended in the liminal space of travel, the first flight he’s taken on his own. He meant to study and sleep but instead he watched the land pass beneath the window, the airplane moving almost at the speed of time. Coming west, he’s gained back most of those hours of traveling, as if they were too important to lose.

And then he turns and Javi’s there. Working his way through the crowd, in long fraying denim shorts and a low-necked white t-shirt, the smile on his face bright enough to light the whole terminal. The only familiar thing in a sea of strangeness.

Javi kisses him on both cheeks when they meet, something he’s never done with Yuzu. Before, their distance was wary and considered, and even now he’s kept touch for when they’re alone. But Spain is different, Yuzu thinks, dazed as Javi’s lips brush his face, three times in quick succession. Then Javi’s brilliant smile is before him again, as Javi grips his upper arms, holding him close.

“You made it! I can’t believe that you’re here.”

His accent is stronger now that he's been home for a while, and he seems more Spanish somehow, charming and casually familiar. Yuzu meets his smile with one of his own, feeling the irresistible pull back into intimacy.

They walk out together into the sunlight. Yuzu’s used to the enveloping humidity of summers at home, and the intensity of this dry wavering yellow heat takes him as much by surprise as Javi did just now, embracing him in public. On the train, rocking in the darkness of tunnels, his eyes keep falling shut, and whenever he blinks them open Javi is still grinning at him, pleased and proud, like Yuzu’s a prize he's bringing home.

“What,” Yuzu asks, low, as the train clacks through a tunnel.

Javi nudges him with his shoulder, hand on Yuzu’s knee for a moment before drawing it back.

His apartment isn’t far from the station. They wrestle Yuzu’s suitcase up and into the street, narrow and surprisingly empty of people, lined with modern white buildings and colorful awnings. “Siesta,” Javi says, when he sees Yuzu looking at a shuttered shop. “Not for you today. You need to stay awake until the dark.”

Yuzu nods, trudging along behind, heat coming up off the pavement like a furnace. The sun is a blazing presence that he feels like something watchful above him. They go into the shocking cool of Javi’s building lobby, and then ride the elevator three floors to a place he’s never been, the place Javi calls home. 

“So,” Javi says, shutting the door behind them. “This is it.”

He drops Yuzu’s suitcase and flings himself on the couch, arm stretched out along the back. Yuzu moves into the space he left, willingly. They look at each other for a long moment, serious and appraising, the tension drawn tight, and then Yuzu drops his head and lets go. He pushes his face against Javi’s neck where it meets his shoulder and breathes in deep, taking in the warmth beneath his lips, as Javi’s arm comes down around him. 

“Hi,” Yuzu murmurs, and Javi laughs, soft.

They watch TV and they kiss, slipping between the two as the drowsy afternoon wears on. Yuzu keeps checking his watch, until Javi unbuckles it from his wrist and changes the time. “Forget about it,” he says, kissing the side of Yuzu’s face and dropping the watch on the table. “You’re here now.”

They have dinner at six, Javi frowning at the earliness of the hour. “Tomorrow we will go out,” he promises, as he heats up something in the microwave. “When you feel better. We’ll have good food, and drinks after, somewhere else, stay out late. You’ll love it.”

Yuzu hardly ever leaves the house in the evening, in Toronto or at home, but he nods, ready to love whatever Javi does.

It’s the first time they’ve been together like this, with the full liberty of time and space. They sleep in Javi’s bed, and they sleep in late; luxurious, languid. This little slice of impossible, this stolen week, feels like everything they could be someday, in a world where everything is different. 

_What are we_, Yuzu texted him three months ago, and Javi answered _ice skaters_ before following up with _seriously, you tell me, I want whatever you can give_. Yuzu’s not used to that, thinking of himself as the giver, but he’s used to setting terms. 

_Novios,_ he texted back, after a long search online, trying to find exactly the right words. _Si tu quieres._

_Sí_, Javi replied. _Te quiero_

Their lovemaking that first golden morning is sweet and lazy, ripples of pleasure instead of waves of passion, and that's enough for a start. It's too hot and Yuzu’s too tired to do anything but watch TV and eat fruit and kiss some more, lying sprawled on the couch. They go out for a late dinner, and Yuzu meets Javi’s family for the first time as something more than a training partner. They bridge the wide gap of language with happy smiles, and he doesn’t know what Javi’s told them but he feels welcomed and familiar, cherished by them because Javi does. It's wonderful to be here where Javi is central, the most important figure at the table, loved for himself.

Yuzu yawns through the taxi ride after, and it’s all he can do to make it to the apartment and into bed. The weight of the time change feels heavy, physical, like something he’s moving through as much as the heat of the Spanish night. He feels Javi touch his face, laughing. “Sweet dreams, cariño.”

The next morning Javi has an early radio appearance that he couldn’t get out of. “I’m sorry,” he says for the tenth time, hopping on one leg as he stumbles into a pair of jeans. “I’ll be home soon. I promise.”

He leans in to kiss Yuzu’s forehead, and that word _home_ lingers like the warmth of his lips.

There’s something about being alone in Javi’s apartment, a rich intimacy he’s never felt before. Yuzu makes use of the time. Breakfast and a shower, shaving carefully. He lies naked in Javi’s bed after, feeling the white cotton of the sheets against his bare skin, looking at the ceiling and window, the things that Javi sees every day. Counting himself part of them, for a little while, imagining himself a fixture in Javi’s life.

He goes through his suitcase, touching and caressing the things he’s brought. To one side, there's a small bundle of white cotton; the lacy panties that drove Javi crazy when all this first began. For Yuzu, they’d been something different, more than sex; a secret that gave him power in the keeping of it. He felt beautiful wearing them, as if there was something about him beyond what everyone already knew. A private life, a hidden self.

Everything’s changed since then. There's an outside perception of him again, and when they're together he's always aware of it. He doesn't wear the white cotton very often with Javi, but silk and satin, sheer mesh and straps, more complicated things with no use outside the bedroom. Clothes in which to be seen, to make an impression, to perform.

Dressing alone this morning is a pleasure, sending thrills through him. Yuzu takes the things out one at a time, unfolding and stroking before he puts each piece on, smoothing and adjusting. He’s been thinking about this ever since he bought them, since he tried them on that first afternoon, filming himself to make sure everything was perfect.

Yuzu looks at himself in the mirror and adds the final touches to his face, before he goes back into the bedroom to lie in Javi’s bed.

He’s almost drifted back to sleep when he hears the front door open, sometime after noon. Sensation jolts through him again, the familiar nerves of performance, competition. Yuzu settles himself more on his side, one leg drawn up, head resting on his curled arm, the way that looked best in the video. He breathes slow and deep, readying himself.

In the hall behind him, he hears Javi’s footsteps, and then they stop. 

For a very long minute, Javi doesn’t say anything.

Yuzu lifts his head just like he’s practiced, turning to look over his shoulder. It makes the trio of delicate gold chains draped over his hip shift, grazing the sheer golden fabric of his thong, pulled taut over the garter belt of the same material. He sees Javi’s heavy gaze traveling up his body, widening at the gold liner that Yuzu drew with a steady hand, bright along his lowered eyelids, flicking back to the black and gold choker encircling his throat.

Javi’s lips are parted, breathing hard, and he grasps the doorframe with one hand, like he’s been spelled into place. Yuzu takes in his crisp white shirt, unbuttoned low, and the bleached jeans, rolled high above brown loafers. There’s something sweet and vulnerable about his bare ankles, but Yuzu doesn't let himself linger, losing his moment. He holds Javi’s gaze and feels the power of fascination, desire thick in the air, as Javi’s jaw works hard. 

“Oh,” Javi says, at long last, exhaling the word. 

Yuzu blinks, darkened lashes a slow flutter. He lifts his chin, hair falling back from his forehead, and strokes a hand up his thigh, sliding one fingertip beneath his black satin garter. Javi steps into the room, the spell broken at last.

“Let me,” Javi says, voice dark with need. 

He steps out of his shoes and lies on the bed behind Yuzu, curving around his body. He cups Yuzu’s face, fingers spreading along his cheek, and presses his thumb against Yuzu’s lower lip, sticky with gloss. His face is hungry, disbelieving, eyes glazed. Yuzu opens his mouth, leaning in to enclose Javi’s thumb with a wet, dragging suck before he pulls away.

“I don't know where to touch first,” Javi says, with a low, helpless laugh. His fingertips stroke Yuzu’s face again, and then the black strap of the choker, trailing over Yuzu’s shoulder blade and down his back, resting at his waist.

“Just touch me,” Yuzu murmurs, the words practiced and sure. “Touch me like you want to.”

Javi comes in closer then, their mouths just brushing, and Yuzu feels his warm breath as he runs his hand down Yuzu’s thigh, the thin chains rolling beneath his palm and rasping on the silk of Yuzu’s stockings. Javi presses his hips in, jeans rough against Yuzu’s bare skin, and kisses Yuzu’s shoulder, running his fingertips up over Yuzu's chest and down his stomach so lightly, like he's touching him for the first time.

Yuzu moans softly and arches his back, into Javi’s body, his touch. He wants to be caressed like this, to have the glow of Javi’s admiration, but he wants more, too. He's been waiting so long.

Like he knows what Yuzu’s thinking, Javi grows bolder, stroking the tight fabric over Yuzu’s groin and then moving back, his palm cupping the bare curve of Yuzu’s ass. “You look so good in gold,” Javi whispers, his fingers pressing in.

_I know I do_, Yuzu thinks, but he just moans again and lets Javi push him over on his front.

He knows what Javi’s seeing now, because he filmed this back home, making sure it looked right. The tiered golden chains framing his hips, the sheer gold of the garter belt stretched below his slim waist, the rounded muscular rise of his ass with the strip of thong straining between. Yuzu writhes a little, knees widening as he flexes, and the hungry sound that Javi makes is everything he dreamed of.

Javi shifts behind him, getting up, and Yuzu can hear the sound of a zipper being yanked down, reminding him of that first hotel room in Japan last summer. His lacy white panties so taut, heart beating so hard it felt like a choking weight in his throat as Javi knelt behind him. The hot, burning feeling of being _seen_ like that, his desires on display, and the racing thrill of knowing what it was doing to Javi too. Both of them caught, fumbling and desperate, everything shocking and new.

Now it’s all going just the way Yuzu planned. The lingerie he purchased, framing the curves of his hips, gold everywhere and Javi breathing hard as he gets down his jeans, sounding just as desperate as their very first time. Yuzu’s in control now, and he moans in encouragement. “Hurry.”

Javi swears, under his breath, and then his touch is needy, taking. Stroking Yuzu’s bare skin roughly, raking his short nails down Yuzu’s back and over the garter belt, hands closing tight over the roundness of his ass. Javi pushes up, lifting, and hooks his thumb beneath the strip of thong, working in. Yuzu hears him hiss as he meets resistance, and laughs softly.

“This time, we go slow,” he murmurs, rocking into Javi’s hands. “You do the work.”

Javi chuffs, sounding impatient, but Yuzu knows that he loves this, seeing what his touch does. Yuzu reaches under the pillow, digging out the lube, but Javi’s already crowding in, his fingers curling around the string of Yuzu’s thong to tug it aside. There’s the heat of his face, coming closer, and then the startling roughness of his cheek, rubbing against Yuzu’s nether one.

Yuzu gasps, knees gone weak as he realizes Javi’s intentions. Javi presses kisses against his skin, both thumbs sliding up, and then Javi takes hold of his ass with both hands, spreading him wide. 

“_Ah_,” Yuzu moans, high and sharp, falling to his elbows. He pushes his face into the bed, fighting the flaming rush, and his breath comes fast, rushing in his ears as Javi kisses in deeper, slick and soft. He can't stand it, the racing weight of anticipation, and he clutches the sheets, curling his toes into the mattress. “Javi, fuck — ” he manages, before his throat closes over the words.

Javi pauses, his breath coming fast against Yuzu’s most tender place, and then he gives it one long, hot, wet lick.

Yuzu cries out, his body jerking with it. Javi does it again, slower this time, dragging. It's filthy, like nothing Yuzu’s ever felt, so much he can hardly stay still for it. Javi pulls the thong tight, making small, quick flicks with his tongue, and the fabric pulls against Yuzu’s groin too, cradling his tightening balls and aching cock. Yuzu digs his fingers into the sheets, panting, and when Javi’s teeth scrape against him he cries out again, _Javi, oh my god, Javi!_, pitching higher when Javi follows it with a thrust of his tongue.

He's soft now, open, ready for Javi’s tongue to slip even deeper. There's a pause and a wet sucking sound, and then Javi’s wide thumb pushes in instead, blunt and solid as it parts the way. Javi licks around it, where Yuzu is stretched taut. He knows he's clean and waxed smooth, but it's still startlingly intimate, and his shoulders hunch up around his ears as he bites back another cry. 

He doesn't want to beg for it, not today, not like this. Yuzu sets his jaw, getting himself under control, the way he planned. He rocks his hips into the movement of Javi’s hand, setting the pace, but his voice is still a breathless purr when he demands, “More.”

Another finger, eased by the slick motion of Javi’s tongue again, sending shivers from the top of Yuzu’s head to his toes. He spreads his knees wider, arching up into Javi’s mouth, urging him to push deeper, and Javi does. Javi’s licking him sloppy and loud now, working his fingers, and Yuzu pants, whining at the stretch.

“God,” Javi says suddenly, pulling away. His fingers slide out, catching as they go, and then the hot weight of his cock presses into the crack of Yuzu’s ass, rubbing through the wetness he left behind. “I'm sorry,” he gasps, “I have to — I can't wait.”

“It’s OK,” Yuzu pants, with a wicked smile that Javi can't see. “You can put it in.”

He passes back the lube, and Javi slicks up fast and eager. The head of his cock bumps blindly against the resistance of Yuzu’s body, and he steadies himself with a hand on Yuzu’s back as he pushes in, first with a pop and then the steady, inexorable breach, shocking and overwhelming like it is every time. Yuzu moans, mouth against his arm, sinking in his teeth, until Javi’s all the way inside.

“That's it, baby,” Javi murmurs. He strokes over Yuzu’s hip, down his thigh, slipping a hand beneath his garter. “You're good, you feel so good.”

Yuzu turns his head to the side, taking breaths of sweet cool air. “Then you better fuck me good.”

The golden chains jingle when Javi starts moving, hips rolling smooth and slow and then harder, slapping against him. Yuzu encourages it, arching his back, making the low moans he knows Javi loves.

_You're amazing_, Javi whispered, the last time they had sex. Yuzu had been holding his phone above his body, letting Javi watch as he touched himself, and it was like he was outside it all, controlling the scene, the pleasure he felt unimportant compared to how he was making Javi feel. Everything about the perfect performance, about being what Javi never knew he wanted.

It wasn’t like that in Japan this summer, just making the most of the hurried moments they had, but he had a plan for this morning. He’d planned out new lingerie and makeup, how he'd arrange his body, what he’d say when Javi returned, but he didn't think about himself. How it would feel to have Javi’s wondering, possessive hands on him, or when Javi thrust deep inside, opening him up, claiming him. Javi’s fingering the chains now, tugging at them, and then his hand slips up to fondle the clasp of Yuzu's choker. Not pulling, not quite, but _there_, heavy and warm and reminding Yuzu he could. If Yuzu asked.

Yuzu doesn't ask, not in words, but he curves his neck and Javi’s thumb slips beneath the band, tightening it against Yuzu’s throat, just for a moment.

“I thought about you all the morning,” Javi says, breathless, between thrusts. “I hoped that you would be waiting for me. But this is better than I imagine.”

“You like it?” Yuzu asks. “Tell me what you like.”

“Everything,” Javi says, immediately. “How you look — you're perfect.” He fucks in harder and his hand tightens, closing over the back of Yuzu’s neck, lovingly. Yuzu leans into it, dropping his head and letting out a high moan. He can't hold back when it's like this, Javi fucking him so smooth and good, everything fading out except this sensation, their bodies working together. He loves the way letting Javi in pushes him, the way it demands he be vulnerable when he knows he's the most safe.

Yuzu squeezes his eyes shut, letting out a whine, pleasure so sharp it’s almost too much. Javi’s touching him more roughly, snapping his garter and then fondling the silk of his lingerie, running his short nails up Yuzu’s back. Yuzu leans his head into Javi’s hand when he cradles his face, nuzzling against his palm, and Javi thrusts in hard a few times more before coming to a stop, gasping for breath.

It could go down like this. Javi riding him, taking his pleasure, chains jingling, Yuzu on display. But Yuzu didn’t get his eyeliner perfect to stay on his knees the whole time.

He slips sideways, twisting his hips and rolling over. He pulls his stockinged legs up, wrapping around Javi’s waist, and Javi follows his lead, shifting to push back inside. He kisses Yuzu, plush and hungry, and Yuzu takes hold of his shoulders, pulling him in. 

This all happened fast, and Javi’s still dressed, jeans and briefs slung low on his hips, the buttons of his shirt rubbing against Yuzu’s chest. Yuzu pulls at the shirt roughly, popping it open with a tug at the right angle, threads snapping as the buttons come loose. The sleeveless undershirt beneath has always driven Yuzu wild, but today he yanks at that too, getting it up and out of the way until their bodies are touching, bare and warm.

Javi moans into his mouth, inaudible but loving, hips beginning to rock with heavy purpose. He braces his forearm under the pillow and shoves in hard, angling his body, and Yuzu can feel the building desperation between them, the performance discarded as they strain towards frantic pleasure. He’s almost disappointed — it goes like this every time — but it feels so good to have Javi’s weight against him, strong and solid, that he can’t bear to stop.

He pushes his hand into Javi’s hair in back, pulling hard, and Javi moans sharper as he reaches into the loose waistband of his jeans and briefs, pressing his nails into the flexing curve of Javi’s ass. 

“Oh yeah,” Javi slurs, and Yuzu knows he’s close, the heat overcoming him. Javi lifts up convulsively and works a hand between them to rest on Yuzu’s cock, straining against his tight panties. Javi rubs the sheer fabric with his palm firmly, and Yuzu bucks up into it, whimpering with the burst of pleasure. 

“Come on baby, you’re good, so good,” Javi mutters, and now Yuzu’s getting close too. He squeezes Javi’s waist with his thighs, feeling the muscles moving beneath, and gasps for the close wet air between them, pulling Javi’s hair again with a fierce moan. It’s so much, Javi’s thick hot cock pressing inside him, over and over, with Javi’s hand on him, stroking him through his sheer golden panties, and Yuzu is just slipping over the edge when Javi breathes in his ear, hoarse and sweet, “There’s a good girl, my good pretty girl.”

Yuzu comes so hard it’s blinding. A choked cry cuts off his breath, the arches of his feet cramping up and his body seizing around Javi as he soaks his panties with painful spurts of ecstasy. He feels wrung out, crushed to the breaking point, stunned.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck,” Javi groans, before Yuzu’s even finished, coming slippery and sudden, like Yuzu drew it out of him. He bites Yuzu’s bare shoulder and then kisses the bitten place, mouthing slickly, before collapsing onto the pillow, panting hard in Yuzu’s ear.

He fumbles to find Yuzu’s arm, stroking it up and down, letting out a fond snort of laughter. The tension has broken in him, leaving him loose and tender, but Yuzu’s thunderstruck and rigid, like he’ll never move again. He's hot all over, burning up, lost for words in any language. The spark of Javi’s words set off something deep inside him, but now he feels only shame, a lingering wrongness that turns his stomach. _Good girl, my good pretty girl_ echoes in his head, and when he remembers the affection in Javi’s voice it somehow makes him feel even worse.

Finally Javi groans and heaves himself over, onto his back. Yuzu brings his stiff legs down, wincing as he feels the sticky wetness seeping through his thong, tight and uncomfortable now. His heart is beating in his throat, sickly, but at last he pushes through and says the words, blunt and flat: “I'm not a girl.”

Javi turns to look at him. “I know that.” He doesn't say anything else, just watches Yuzu with his big soft eyes, smiling a little. 

“I like wearing pretty things,” Yuzu says, halting. “But — ” He pauses, not sure how to explain the way this all started for him alone, how the underwear makes him feel. The complex, delicate balance of contrasts, women’s lingerie on his strong body, the secret, powerful thrill of it all. This isn't just pink flowers on a costume. 

Javi reaches out, touching Yuzu’s face gently with his fingertips. “I thought you liked that, just now. It seemed like you did.” He smiles, slyly.

Yuzu shuts his eyes, searching through words before opening them again. “Even if I like it, still, I’m needing control for who I am,” he says at last. “Maybe sometimes I’m feeling like girl, but comes from — inside of me. Not words from someone else.” He tilts his head up, looking seriously at Javi in the morning light. “That makes sense?”

Javi nods, reaching out to cup Yuzu’s face, his palm warm against his cheek. “Can I tell you how gorgeous you are?”

“Always,” Yuzu says, and his heart is full, the way Javi is trying to understand him. 

Javi draws closer, rolling onto his side to press their foreheads together. “I'm glad that you're here,” he murmurs. “It feels like you belong here.”

_Here_ could mean so many places. Spain, in Javi’s bed, or just in Javi’s arms. Yuzu turns into them, rolling over to curve his own around Javi’s neck. “I always feeling happy, with you,” he says. He swallows hard. “Mi novio.”

It's the first time he's said anything like that out loud, and anxious heat flares through him, unsettled. Javi strokes one hand deliberately down his back, and Yuzu flushes even hotter as he waits for Javi to say something in return. 

“Good,” Javi says, his voice rumbling rich and low. His hand reaches the dip of Yuzu’s waist and keeps going, over the garter belt and lower, pushing beneath the tangle of chains to spread across the sensitive curve of his ass. Yuzu shivers at the delicious tickle of his fingers, finding their way down, and tilts his face up to catch Javi’s mouth in a soft kiss. 

It's dreamy and sweet, the heat of Javi’s tongue just dipping into his mouth, one tracing finger moving back and forth, and Yuzu gives himself up to it for a while before raising his knee over Javi’s hip to push him over, breathless and sudden.

He's pleased to feel Javi stretching out beneath him, giving way. He presses himself against the solid frame of Javi’s body, broad shoulders and strong arms, settling astride his waist. Javi brings his free hand up to clasp the back of Yuzu’s neck, keeping him close as they kiss, and murmurs when Yuzu rocks down against him. 

“Again already?” Javi whispers, but Yuzu can already feel him getting hard too, hips rocking in answer.

They kiss with more passion, moving together, finding a rhythm. Javi’s seeking fingers press deeper, intimate, right against the soaked fabric of his thong and working beneath. Yuzu gasps into Javi’s mouth, the hard scape of Javi’s fingernail a counterpoint of sweet pain to the pleasure as he pushes inside.

“Oh,” Yuzu groans, his voice breaking over it, and he feels his cock straining up in his panties. He kisses Javi hungrily, arching into his hands, relishing the roughness of Javi’s jeans against his inner thighs and Javi’s tongue in his mouth, the tight longing push-pull of their spiraling desire. Javi pushes deeper inside him, and the smooth slide of their bodies together is a tease, not enough but too good to stop.

“I wanna fuck you again,” Javi murmurs, against his lips. 

Yuzu nuzzles his jaw, kissing up to his whisper in his ear. “You want me to be good for you?”

Javi nods, stroking his back, arm encircling his waist. “Beautiful.”

They move together, shifting bodies and clothing until Javi’s pressing back inside, a tighter fit at this angle. Yuzu kisses him once more, hard, before straightening up, leaning back with his hands braced on Javi’s thighs as he rides him with a deep, rolling motion. Javi’s hands are everywhere, clutching Yuzu’s hips and pulling him forward, and his eyes are on Yuzu too, dark and wanting.

“I’m pretty like this?” Yuzu gasps. He takes hold of Javi’s hand and pulls it up, onto his chest, cupping the rise of muscle there. 

Javi lets out a high moan, almost a whine. “_Beautiful_,” he says again. He flicks Yuzu’s nipple with his thumb, rubbing back and forth until it peaks, and lifts his hips, thrusting up.

The way he groans it out makes Yuzu grin, and he goes faster, harder, pushing his body. His ass slaps against Javi with every thrust, and Javi catches his breath sharply. “Slow down,” he pants, fingers biting into Yuzu’s hip. “Or I'm gonna come already.”

“Not until I say,” Yuzu says, fiercely, and he loves the startled breath Javi takes, nostrils flaring.

He wraps his hands around Javi’s biceps and pushes his arms back against the bed, shifting forward. Javi’s muscles are hard beneath his fingers, flexing, and Yuzu digs his fingers in, bringing his weight to bear as he grinds down hard. Javi’s eyes are dark and his mouth is slack, breathing fast and shallow, like he's just holding onto the edge of what he can take.

Yuzu pushes him farther, wanting Javi to feel as desperate he does, honed and sharp and hungry. He wants Javi to snap, to roll him over and fuck him hard, but he wants this too, Javi beneath him, held down and willing, looking up at him like that. 

“I wanna see you,” Javi gasps. “I wanna see you before I come.”

“Watch,” Yuzu says, and reaches down.

He bites his lip as he tugs his panties out of the way, working his cock through the tight space below his garter belt. Like this, he knows it's framed by the draping chains at his waist, and he smiles as he leans back, one hand braced on Javi’s thigh. Yuzu strokes himself once, a gentle glide up, caressing the soft skin over the head. He catches the loose edge of it with his fingers, tugging it up, and then makes a circle with them to slide it back, just exposing the pink tip beneath.

“Yuzu,” Javi says, low and needy. He cranes his neck up, lips parted.

Yuzu shivers. He wants Javi’s mouth on him, but he wants Javi’s eyes on him more. He shakes his head.

“I’m giving you show,” he says, closing his fist around himself. 

He's in control again now, mindful of all the details. He modulates his rising gasps, his rocking hips, the speed and the wet sound of it. The feeling is dulled, after coming not long ago, and it's good that way, lets him take his time. He wants Javi to see everything, to remember this morning, this time together.

“Gorgeous,” Javi croons, stroking his thighs, rubbing circles over the thin silk of his stockings. “God, look at you.”

Yuzu touches himself, the way he has on camera before, knowing how he looks and what Javi likes. He moans under his breath, fingers closing tight around Javi’s thigh, digging in. He wants to take and to give, for this to be intimate and intense, unforgettable. He holds Javi’s gaze even though his own eyes keep falling shut, because he needs this connection now, the reflected knowledge of how Javi sees him, to _be seen_.

“Javi,” he gasps, not knowing what he's saying, except that he has to mark the moment, anchoring himself to where he is. After all the strange, unlikely things in his life he's here in Spain, in Javi’s bed, and Javi’s looking at him like that while Yuzu looks like _this_. Painted and adorned, the way he wants to be, a secret that could be shameful but has never felt that way with Javi, only thrilling and right.

“That's it, show me how you like it,” Javi gasps, the edge of a growl in his voice. “I love to watch you, I love — fuck, _I love you_.”

Heat floods Yuzu’s body, his face unbearably warm. He's never going to be able to say that so easily, in this moment or any other, but his heart is so full that his chest hurts, pushing into his throat. He just looks at Javi, eyes burning, and hopes Javi can see it in him, the intensity of everything he feels as he comes, gasping, warmth pooling in his hand.

It's intense, so soon after, with a deep, aching pleasure that curls within him, leaving him wrung out and weak. Yuzu falls forward across Javi’s chest, burying his face against the pillow under Javi's head, and Javi takes hold of his hips, tight, moving his own up with quick short thrusts. Javi’s moans are soft and breathy in Yuzu’s ear, his body shuddering, and then he wraps his arms around Yuzu and they’re still.

The room is quiet and warm, the morning sunlight passing overhead, leaving it half shadowed. Yuzu knows only the tidal rush of air in his lungs, the pulse he feels between them, the secure weight of Javi’s arms around him. This feels eternal, fixed, an essential part of him now. He’ll always be the person who was loved like this, held like this, seen like this.

“Here,” Javi whispers, and shifts, moving Yuzu to lie on his side.

He doesn't stop touching Yuzu after. Hand stroking down his side, up into his hair, thumb brushing his lower lip. Yuzu keeps his eyes closed but he hears a breath of laughter. “What?” he mutters.

Javi’s thumb comes up to touch the corner of his eye. “The gold on your eyes. It's everywhere now.”

“That’s your fault,” Yuzu says, even though he can't remember how it happened. He leans in and finds Javi's face with his own, rubbing. 

Javi lets out a long, pleased sigh, his hand resting on the back of Yuzu's neck. The stillness returns, the sense of deep, silent connection. Yuzu draws his knee up, until it's touching Javi’s, both still clothed, denim and silk.

“Now what,” Yuzu whispers.

“Now we nap,” Javi says, rolling his shoulders. “We’ll go to have paella for dinner. Much later, when it's cooler. Maybe we’ll have ice cream, down by the fountain.”

Yuzu has come to love this about Javi, the way he surrounds himself with small, comfortable things, letting others think past the next moment. It's restful at times, and so different from his own careful planning. Here, it feels right.

“And then?”

He finds himself drifting as Javi speaks, telling him of the things they’ll do, the food they’ll eat and the places they’ll see. It comes to him that this is more than just a vacation or a retreat together; it’s a chance to see Javi’s deeper desires and what he loves, the way Javi’s seen for him. A time to see who Javi really is.

“And then what?” Yuzu asks, sleepily, when Javi stops talking, breath soft and slowing against his cheek. 

“Mm,” Javi says. His hand caresses the slope of Yuzu’s back, sliding warm and low, lower. “You tell me.”

**Author's Note:**

> http://sophia-helix.tumblr.com


End file.
